Tilted Halos

     We fluctuate between castigating ourselves and congratulating ourselves because we are deluded into thinking we save ourselves.  We develop a false sense of security from our good works and scrupulous observance of the law.  Our halo gets too tight and a carefully disguised attitude of moral superiority results.  Or we are appalled by our inconsistency, devastated that we haven’t lived up to our lofty expectations of ourselves.  The roller coaster ride of elation and depression continues.
     Why?  
     Because we never lay hold of our nothingness before God, and consequently, we never enter into the deepest reality of our relationship with Him.  But when we accept ownership of our powerlessness and helplessness, when we acknowledge that we are paupers at the door of God’s mercy, then God can make something beautiful out of us…  saved sinners with tilted halos living by grace. 
               Brennan Manning (The Ragamuffin Gospel)

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