Marriage Is War And Peace

I haven't read the following book from Paul Tripp so I cannot affirm it.  However, the video above is phenomenal.  

I have often shared with struggling married couples that the life of a Christian is God continually putting the flesh to death and then being resurrected in Christ daily.  Christian sanctification is war, war against self.  In this war against self, the old sinful nature is being daily crucified along with its passions and desires and we are being resurrected in the blessed Gospel.  It is the same with marriage.  In marriage, the husband and wife are continually put to death.  As their own selfishness, desires, ambitions and so forth are being put to death, they are simultaneously being resurrected as 'one flesh.'  The two shall become one flesh.  This happens daily, being drowned and resurrected. 

What emerges is what Paul pictures in Ephesians 5:21-33.  In this text Paul frames the conversation within the proper context of Christ.  As we know, Christ empties Himself not to get from mankind, but to give.  It is the same with the husband and wife.  The wife out of reverence to Christ submits herself to her husband.  The husband out of reverence to Christ gives his life for his bride.  

Marriage in a lot of ways is a Gospel picture of Christ and the Church.  The Lutheran Study Bible says, "If we say with Paul that the husband is the 'head' in a marriage, then we may say the wife is the 'heart.'  Is one more important?  No, both heart and head are necessary for life.  We are inclined today to view our marriages selfishly: what can I get out of it?  Instead, we can consider what we can offer to our spouse and see behind each action a picture of the Gospel itself."  

Gene Boe comments on this further saying, 
"To love your wife is to sacrifice your interests, to sacrifice your joys, to sacrifice your priorities that she might be made complete, that she might develop into the kind of person God wants her to be.  
How is your love for your wife? How does it stand up to the picture God presents here? Are you completing your wife? Are you leading her? Are you sacrificing for her? Are you helping her to be all that God wants her to be?  
How have you sinned against her by not loving her? Have you gone to her and said, “Honey, I’ve sinned against you. Will you forgive me?”  
And wives, you are also to love your husbands - even when it seems like he is your enemy.  
And how is all this possible? Because God first loved us. Because Jesus sacrificed His life on Calvary and gave Himself for us - that we might be forgiven - that we might experience the love of God - and that we might love as we have been loved."
To Learn More On This Subject Check Out The Following Post:
And The Two Shall Become One Flesh