What is Love?

March 04, 2023

What is Love?

Text: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13

In the name of Jesus. Amen.

In today's society, love is often portrayed as a positive feeling that comes about when a person's needs and desires are met. For example, romantic comedies often focus on the pursuit of personal happiness and pleasure rather than on building deep, self-sacrificing relationships. Furthermore, take a moment to consider all the dating couples that you know. It isn't hard to find couples who stay together only because of the benefits that they get from one another in the relationship - benefits such as financial security, social status, or sexual gratification. In these transactional relationships, love is conditioned and based on the exchange of benefits – what they can get from the other person. Again, our society's view of love often focuses on what you can get – what the other person can do for you rather than what you can do for them.

And so, society tells you and me that if someone is not meeting your needs, well… they don't love you, and you should move on and find someone who can meet your needs.

To make things even worse, our society often views love as an affectionate feeling that spontaneously pops up without our control. We see this kind of love depicted in music, movies, and romance books. While feelings and emotions are involved with love, society often talks about love as if it is so spontaneous that it is outside of our control. In other words, love is often viewed as something that we cannot control and that we cannot be held responsible for. So, with this kind of spontaneous love, we cannot be blamed if it fades away or if it wanders to another person.

Society also messes up when it focuses so much on love that it ignores the object of love. For example, think of that 16-year-old girl in High School who was in love with the idea of being in love. Who her boyfriend was, didn't really matter. (The boyfriend was just an accessory; he was a footnote, an afterthought.) Again, she was in love – but with whom? Well, that didn't really matter. What mattered was that she had an all-encompassing force of love that could supposedly conquer all obstacles and make her whole life in High School perfect.

And so, once we think about society's various views of love, we can see it everywhere - in the way that people approach romantic relationships, friendships, and even family dynamics.

Now, why bring this up, though?

Tragically, I am fairly convinced that when we hear our reading from the Epistle of 1 Corinthians, we tune out what the Apostle Paul is saying about love, and we impose society's view of love overtop of what Paul is actually saying. I have seen way too many decorative plaques, coffee mugs, and pagan wedding sermons that highlight 1 Corinthians 13 – I have heard way too much gushy talk and emotive sentiments about 1 Corinthians that I am fairly convinced that the majority of people really don't know what true love is – the kind of love that Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13.

Instead of reading 1 Corinthians 13, again, let me restate it: Paul says to the Christians in Corinth that true love:

Does not act the way that we might think. Love does its works of kindness secretly and hides them from others. Love does not do its acts of charity to be seen or known by others – as if it wants credit or recognition. Love is not boastful or arrogant. It doesn't seek to gain but seeks to give. It does not insist on its own way, nor is it irritable or resentful. Love does not make a lot of noise by celebrating the evil of others. Love rejoices in the truth. It doesn't hold on to its works but does everything for a neighbor.

To sum this up, the kind of love that Paul talks about is unconditional – it seeks the well-being of others without expecting anything in return, often when it is difficult or uncomfortable. This kind of love puts the needs of others above oneself, even at the expense of pain and suffering.

Perhaps why the love of 1 Corinthians 13 is so very different from our society's view of love has to do with how they each focus on 'self.' That is to say; society sees love in other people fulfilling the self whereas the love of the Bible sees the sacrifice of the self for others. One more time; society sees love in other people fulfilling the self whereas the love of the Bible sees the sacrifice of the self for others

Think about this a bit more. Compare the roll of suffering in society and in the Bible. In society, suffering is often seen as a sign that something is wrong. Again, if a relationship is causing you pain or discomfort, it is a supposed sign that there is no love and is not worth pursuing. In contrast, Biblical love is the emptying – the self-sacrifice – of oneself for another. Love is dying to self, so that you can live for another. Biblical love is not just an emotive feeling but it involves putting the needs of others before your own – even if it means your very own death.

But honestly, who can love like this? With our love, we are not always patient or kind. We sometimes envy and boast. We can be arrogant and rude. We often insist on our own way and are quick to become irritable and resentful. We do not always bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, or endure all things. Frankly, if we read 1 Corinthians 13 and find ourselves gushing with affectionate feelings and inspired to romantic love… we are insane! When the world reads 1 Corinthians 13 as a sentimental-warm-fuzzy-emotional description of self-centered-love, the world does not need a loving hug but a punch in the gut and a slap in the face. We need to wake up and understand that there is only One who loves in the way that Paul describes, and it is not us.

This last week, several of us were talking about the Epistle lesson. One of the people said to replace the word 'love' with your very own name and read it out loud, and see how it feels.

Matt is patient and kind; Matt does not envy or boast; Matt is not arrogant or rude. Matt does not insist on his own way; Matt is not irritable or resentful; Matt does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Matt bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Matt never ends.

God have mercy on me! God forgive us, sinners.

To the point; when we read 1 Corinthians 13, there are only two conclusions that we can have: 1) the love that Paul talks about is phenomenal, and 2) you and I do not have the capacity to love this way. Indeed, we do not have the capacity to love this way – but Jesus does.

Baptized Saints, take a moment and reconsider 1 Corinthians by replacing the word 'love' not with your name but with the name Jesus:

Jesus is patient and kind; Jesus does not envy or boast; Jesus is not arrogant or rude. Jesus does not insist on his own way; Jesus is not irritable or resentful; Jesus does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Jesus bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Jesus never ends.

Aw, now that sounds good and right! The reason why; Jesus is the ultimate embodiment of this love. And unlike the societal view of love, this love of Jesus is for you and me. The love of Christ is not self-serving but sacrificial – it is a suffering and serving kind of love. Listen one more time:

Jesus is patient and kind to you; Jesus does not envy or boast; Jesus is not arrogant or rude to you. Jesus does not insist on his own way; Jesus is not irritable or resentful against you; Jesus does not rejoice at your wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Jesus bears all things for you, believes all things for you, hopes all things for you, endures all things for you. Jesus never ends for you.

Baptized Saints, your Jesus loved you not for His own sake – on the basis of what you and I could give Him. (The only thing we can give Jesus is our sin.) Furthermore, the love of God was not a mere affectionate emotion, but the love of our God is displayed right there on that gory cross, where the Son of God suffered and bled for you and me. The love of God towards mankind is sacrificial – it goes the way of suffering.

And so, not only are you and I recipients of God's love, but you and I have love, for we have Christ, and Christ has us. This means that the love of 1 Corinthians 13 is not something that you and I must go out and achieve and acquire but love that we must receive and bask in - as a sheer gift.

And finally, never forget that you and I really cannot love rightly until we have first been loved by God. But in that sacrificial-unconditional-love of Christ, the Holy Spirit produces in you and me joy, peace, patience, kindness, and love… as fruit. He produces holy impulses in us so that we may begin to love – with our human limitations - in this sinful, broken world.

Lord create in us a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us to not only receive your love but love others sacrificially.

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